Sunday, 29 May 2011

My SAT scores came out...

I heard from my teacher that my SAT scores would come out on May 26th, so after lunch, I went up to library and opened the "Collegeboard.org" cite and logged in. However, the scores were not up there yet. I was so nervous while clicking "To check your scores." The scores, it said, would be available on Saturday, May 28th.

After the counseling ( where I go for college preparation ( I also write essays and begin the common application documents)), I logged in the cite again clicked "To check your scores" again. My heart was beating. My fingers were shaking.

As I looked at my score, I could say anything. I was shocked. Seriously, I didn't say anything for 5 minutes. I just glare at the monitor and looked at the score again and again. My Math score was OK; reading score - kind of messed up, but my writing score.... It wasn't my score. I usually get over 700 on writing section when I take the practice tests. However, this time, I was just so shocked at my writing score.

I didn't know how to tell my parents. My counselor looked at my score and was shocked. He said that I have to work without day and night. He also added: " Next time I'll see you, I want you to be -10 pounds at least!" Wow, that was cruel :)

Anyway, I came back home, shocked, but didn't want my parents to know the disaster yet.

The Next day, while eating lunch, I told the disaster. My mom was shocked, but I dad encouraged me not to be so gloomy and depressed. He said that doing bad this time, I will improve and do better next time.

I think from now on, I have to work really hard. Finals are coming up, and I won't let myself to disappoint anyone more. I can do it! I will not ever give up!
Just several days left! Let's Do it!

Monday, 23 May 2011

Next semester schedule

There are two weeks left til the end of the semester. Last week, Mr. Alt, my school counselor, talked about which subject I have to take next semester. God, I can't believe that I'm going to be a senior! I'm kind of excited to be a senior and to tease those suffering future juniors (XD) but, I'm worried about my college applications. I talked Mr. Alt about my dream schools, but he kind of talked that just leave those schools and be realistic: he also said that those are just dream schools. I felt very depressed and just decided to give up my dream schools.

Anyway, we talked about the subjects that I have to take next semester. I'm defenitely excited to take AP English Composition and AP Psychology. But, I'm little bit worried to take AP Calculus AB, because as everybody knows, I'm bad at math. :(





I'm also not sure to take either technology or Physics Honors. Technology seems easy, but to be distinguished among other students, I have to take more challenging classes. And, I need to take at least one Study Hall to chill out. 

Anyway, I'm excited for the next semester. And, now, I have to prepare for my finals. ADIOS!

Thursday, 19 May 2011

Finals are coming up...

It's May already: 2011 spring performance is coming up; seniors are ready to leave the school, and the juniors are still suffering with SAT and finals. Last year, I was the MC of the spring performance. My friend did the make-up for me, and the evening was mine. This year, I'm not sure whether the principle will going to choose MC or not. But I would love to do it again.

To say about the finals, I'm just SO depressed when I'm thinking of it. I have US History FINAL, Spanish FINAL Project, Pre-Cal Honors TEST, ART Presentation, and English 11 Honors Final. So much to study! Many people have the steretotype that Asians are good at math; however it is not true at all. For example, I hated math since I was in an elementary school. I just HATED math. When I enetered the high school, I took Geometry, Algebra II, and Pre-Cal (taking it right now). Geometry and Algebra were kind of OK, but Pre-Cal was really difficult.

Anyway, I am really worried what should I do, how I should prepare for the finals, and if I can pass all the subjects. US History is all about memorizing definitions, battles, and why certain people are important. In Spanish, I just have to use http://www.voicethread.com/ to record my voice and describe about my family, myself, restraunt, my house, my friends, appearances of people, fashion, technology, and favorite TV show/movie all in Spanish. In Pre-Cal, I just hope that my teacher Ms.Won would do the review session before final so that we could figure out what she will going to ask us on Final. During Art, I just need to make a power-point and create an artwork about some certain artist, but I didn't choose him yet (Just thinking...).

And the most devastating part before the summer vacaion is that I have SAT right after my FINALS. My Finals end up on Friday, and the next day, I have to fly to Busan by airplane to get on time and take my SAT there. Furthermore, the subject I'm taking is World History, so I feel SO miserable...


I wish everything will end up good...

I miss you very much...

Thirteen years and one year I spent with him. And on a cold snowy day, he left me, leaving my mom and me alone The person I would never see in my life, the person I miss so much, and the person I really miss and will miss forever is my dad.

I think my dad was my best friend through my childhood. When I was in kindergarten and in an elementary school, I saw many parents paying no attention to their children: fathers were unwilling to play with their daughters, especially. However, dad and I had many common things. We played soccer, basketball, and skied together. When he prepared for his Ph.D, I used to make tea for him (he just loved the peppermint tea!). And even when I heard that he got cancer, I used to take me to the park and play with me, walk, and talk about life.

And on January 31st, 2006, he left me. He abandoned me. I dont even remember whether I cried that day. I just remember that I was so shocked. The dearest person in my life just left me without even saying goodbye to me.

Every time, when there was a family day or family trip in school, I just didnt come that day and said that my parents were to busy to come. But the thing is that Ive always felt jealous of daughters who walk with their fathers. I dont know how much I miss him. I wish he was here with me, show how much Ive grown up since he left me, and how much I miss him even today.

These days, I fear that I will forget him. I even fear that one day, I just forget his face, his smiling bright face  I always look at the pictures of him and me and try to resemble the past memories.



I miss him very much...
Dad I miss you

Sunday, 15 May 2011

Are you ready for summer???

When the flowers bloom, and the students finish their AP exams, it is time to prepare for the summer. I like summer: hot weather but cool wind, deep-blue-emerald ocean, and wonderful time to collect warm memories in your life. Last year, in 2010, I've spent whole summer just preparing for SAT, and to say the truth, I regret it. I regret why I didn't spend more time making friends or going out with them to exotic places. So, this year, in 2011, I SWEAR that I'm going to spend it SPECTACULARLY!

First of all, I really want to go to ocean. Though I cannot swim at all, I really enjoy the cool wind and cold touch of the sea water. I just love to walk around the beach especially in the evening or in the morning when it is still cool and sun didn't arise yet. I've always visited there with my parents or family members, so this year, I want to go there by myself, only with friends and make wonderful memories.



Secondly, I've spend lots of time preparing for SAT, AP exams and keeping my GPA high, so I didn't have time to spend time alone. To reveal little secret about me: I'm a huge anime lover!!!!!!!!! I liked watching animations or cartoons since I was in kindergarten (Diseneys were my favorite!!), but as I grew up, I began to watch Japanese animations and started to love them. So, I missed many of the episodes of several animations since I had to study for the school and for Collegeboard exams. Therefore, I would like to spend some time to catch up.

(Gintama)
One of my favorite Japanese animations. It's about everyday life of people living during Edo period where aliens come and invade Japan. Even though it contains some kind of historical materials, it also deals with science-fiction and humor.


(Bleach)
It's about the normal school boy who suddenly becomes the ghost and starts to rescue other ghosts that are in danger. To say the truth, I watched this last year, but I had to quit it because it's like over 350 episodes! I start to watch it yesterday, but as you see, there are more than 300 episodes to watch more. So I think I'm going to watch them slowly and patiently.


Lastly, I want to travel to Tokyo, Japan. Last year, my cousin and I went to Nagasaki together (only both of us! no Parents!!!!!) and it was cool. I asked my mom to let me go to Tokyo this summer, but my mom keeps worrying about that nuclear bomb that exploded last march after the Great Earthquake in Japan. I think I have to persuade her and let me and my cousin to Tokyo. I've ben in Tokyo once, and it was gorgeous. I heard that one of my grandmothers were actually Japanese, so I'm really interested in Japanese culture (actually, I can understand Japanese, speak but I just cannot write or read those letters). Everything is cute and cool. Really would like to visit Tokyo again!!!!!!!


Thursday, 12 May 2011

Bullying? Oh NO!!!!

During advisory classes, I recently watched the movie "MEAN GIRLS." It had been a long time since I watched it. Lindsay Lohan was so young, so clean from drugs and alcohols, and so pure (withouth even her dark circles! (●`・(エ)・´●) !!


Anyway, this movie is just about how the 2 girls (the mean girls!) led by Virgina George are bullying the girls in school. While watching the movie, I remembered how I was treated in an elementary school and in high school, teased by boys and girls...

Well, in an elementary school, I was kind of "hated" by boys. I mean, it was sort of racial discrimination, but really,seriously, did they have to behave like that? After class, boys called me "You, China, go back to your country!" I know, it was very mean. I did not even want to go to school. My nanny (who took care of me since I was 4 years old) was like Calpurnia (nanny of Scout and Jem Finch from the novel <To Kill a Mockingbird>). She always told me not to fight back but to endure all of this. I mean, my parents were studying in grad-school, so I spent most of my childhood with nanny when I lived in Russia. Uh, I miss her so much!!

Every time, when my nanny came to pick me up, I always cried,and she kept saying: "Don't worry about those people. You just have to be yourself my Zaika." (Zaika in Russian means "my little rabbit") And after I moved to another school where there were many Russian Koreans. I didn't have to worry about school bullying anymore. I felt like I was part of them: the principle warmly welcomed me and I was also the member of this big family.
♪(o ̄∇ ̄)/




In high school, I was isolated from my classmates mostly. I came to this International school as a freshmen, but there were other freshmen already, so they were eating and chatting with their own groups.

And becuase I had not attended the Korean schools, I didn't know how to behave among girls. So, I just concentrated on studying. Girls just thought that I wanted impress the teachers. But the thing is that even though I wanted to be friends with them, they didn't let me in their group.

Then, what am I suppose to do? I waited until everything would set up...

However, I met friends... I mean REAL Friends who helped me and encouraged me in difficult situations. They respect my decision and give advice to me. They are always with me and understand me mostly.

Now, I feel that I'm not alone at all. I'm with friends and I really love them, like my family!

I think that BULLYING has to be stopped in every country. People get hurt by the public and those scars will remain in their heart for the rest of their life.

And, I want to say to people who are bullied in school that they should not lose HOPE. Friends can help you and friends can encourage you. Don't wait until someone approaches you. Be the one who approaches to person first!!






Wednesday, 11 May 2011

What will you choose to wear in 2011 SUMMER??

Here, it is already 2011 summer is comming. Yesterday, I put all my winter clothes, including my mufflers, gloves, and winter skirts, to the closet. I organized my wardrobe and drawers with colorful summer clothes.

Every summer, I like to decorate myself fashionably, and go out with my friends. Now, let's see, what will be the trend of 2011 summer. :)


1. BLACK and WHITE

Black color helps you to be look thin and chic. That's why many stars wear all-black suits, dresses, or costumes. BLACK and WHITE colors are matched with every other colors. WHITE looks good with pastel colors such as pink, green, or blue. BLACK matches especially well with deep dark colors such as dark blue, dark brown, or dark green. However, BLACK and WHITE also work together.



2. PINK

I always used to wear very dark colors when I was little bit chubby. However, after I lost weight, I was attracted to all those pinky lovely girlish clothes. I started to love skirts, mini-skirts, short pants, and very bright color clothes. I think it's because my face is little bit darker so I have to wear very colorful clothes to conceal it. My mom once told me that PINK color suits me well.



3. BLUE & GREEN

When I was in elementary school ( i guess it was long long time ago :) ), I remember that I was always very sick with enteritis (food poisoning). Also, my grandfather believed that if a child is sick, then the family is going through the serious crisis. My parents neither had trouble each other nor did not stop loving me. They loved each other and I also loved them so much. So, I preferred to wear blue and green color clothes - these colors represent health, so I wanted to show people that I am healthy and that my family was a happy and joyful family.
And even though, I'm now 17 already, I prefer to wear those cool colors just to remember my past - how I loved and cared my parents and how I wanted to be healthy like other children.


 

Friday, 6 May 2011

Autorretraro (self-portrait)

 (When the artist paints his self-portrait, my grandmother once told me, that we can figure out his characteristic, his feelings, and what he was thinking while he was painting himself. Vincent Van Gogh, Egon Schiele, and Frida Kahlo all have their own unique self-portraits that describe themselves.


1. Vincent Van Gogh (1853 - 1890)

When I first saw Van Gogh's paintings, I weas just shocked by this pieces: everything was painted in the dark color, no energy, no enthusiasm. It seemed like he was very gloomy and despondent person. I can also figure out that he didn't like to go out in sunny days; he just liked to sit in his dark room and paint and paint, and paint.


Van Gogh with bandaged ear (1889)

I thought Van Gogh was just crazy guy when I heard that he cut his ear only because he didn't like it. When he painted himself, he told his brother that his right ear was kind of "complex" to him, a weak point to draw. So, he just grabbed the knife and got rid of it. It might take little courage for the normal person, but for this crazy guy, he just did it right away. Anyway, his use of dark orange/yellow color of skin, dark blue/green coat, his black/blue hat shows us that he was gloomy and somewhat dark person inside.




2. Egon Schiele (1890 - 1918)


He died when he was only 28. He was a narcissist: he loved himself so much. He liked to draw himself, rather in caricature, than realistically. He was a genius of self-portrait. He also claimed that nudity is the best way to express someone's true feelings, true characteristic, and true identity.

 




Egon used dark colors, heedless brush techniques, and lots of shades to depict himself. He described himself as the lonely swan changed into human, but missing his lake and his friends. He loved himself and his wife, beloved wife. Edith was the only woman who could endure his narcisstic love: so I think that's why Egon was so in love with Edith. Edith could understand him and love him no matter why. After his wife died, Egon drew some sketches of Edith and died several days after.

It's very interesting how a man who loves himself, was unable to survive without his lover. His sketches show that he not only loved himself but also hated him: he hated how nicely he looked, so he tried to express his feelings to Edith.




3. Frida Kahlo (1907 - 1954)

I think Frida Kahlo's self-portraits are most inspirational and most impressive ones that I've observed. She was a not healthy but she was a strong woman. She had polio (right leg thinner than the left leg for the rest of her life) and was unable to give birth to children.

She used warm colors; she also had calm and mild brush techniques. She wasn't rough; she painted every detail carefully and patiently until she finished her whole self-portrait.




As she became old, she used little bit darker colors. One interviewer asked her why she changed her style and she just smiled. People now say that her paintings represent her health: as she used darker colors later in life, it means that her health was becoming worse and worse...

So she died in 1954... leaving hundreds of her famous self-portraits. And maybe nobody would ever challenge Frida Kahlo with her unique style of drawing the self-portrait. Que En paz descanse Señorita Kahlo! (Rest in Peace Mrs. Kahlo!)

Monday, 2 May 2011

Story of the children

When I watch movies, I easily get impressed by the movies where a child or children are main characters of the movie. I think it's because I'm a child yet (although I'm 16, but my mind, my heart, and my brain point out that I'm still a little girl). Anyway, there are many movies I got inspired by, but today I'm going to focus only on few of them - my most favorite movies. 


1. Children of Heaven



It's just a story of a sister and brother who have only one pair of running shoes. They have to share it, so a sister goes to school in the morning, and a brother goes in the afternoon. Even though, brother always runs to school, he always gets late to school. So, he participates in school marathon to get the 3rd place - the prize is new pair of running shoes. So, this is the main story how brother tries his best to get running shoes for his little sister.

I don't know how much I cried when I watched this movie. I was toched by how brother cares so much about his sister, to get his sister new pair of running shoes. When I was in an elementary school, I really hated to wear my old running shoes because it showed people how poor I was. However, after watching this movie, I participated in UNICEF community to help poor children back in Pakistan, Afganistan, or Africa and actually, sent them new running shoes for them.


2. Kite Runner

Amir is a son of the wealthy trader in Afganistan, and Hassan is the son of the servant who works for the Amir's father. Amir and Hassan both don't have mother, but they hang out together no matter in what hierarchy they are. After the Kite Tournament, Amir sees how Hassan gets raped by the street gang boy. The story goes on after the 10 years, when Hassan and his father gets out of Amir's house, and Amir moves to New York with his father, Baba. After Baba dies, and Amir gets engaged, he goes back to Afganistan to find his old friend, Hassan.



I didn't know how the children in the Afganistan/Pakistan played and lived. I didn't even realize how the friendship can ignore the social hierarchy established between people. Not the servant and the master relationship, but the two close friends, two brothers cared and loved each other, but had to go through conflicts, death, and war. I especially liked how, after 10 years, Amir goes back to  Afganistan to find Hassan, but finds out that Hassan is dead and Hassan's son is sent to orphane, and Amir takes Hassan's son back to New York. The movie closes how Amir runs to get the dropped kite for Hassan's son, or his nephew. (since Hassan and Amir were actually brothers with same mother).


Sunday, 1 May 2011

My "GREAT" plans after those tests

Almost everybody knows that I'm interested in fashion. I also have unique fashion style. My friends tell me that my fashion sense seems kind of similar to my art teacher, Mrs. Puckett. I like her fashion style: her vintage dress, her vintage bracelets - I especially like how she has those different colorful patterns in the skirts. The long skirts that go up to your feet are called "MAXI" skirts, which I also have them in my wardrobe, ready to put them on this summer.

After my tests are over, after I finish my SAT on May 7th, and after I finish my AP exam, I think I need some rest before I will prepare for my next SAT which is on June 4th. To release this stress, I need to buy something, prepare for summer.

First of all, I need a new bag. I have all those small bags, but I need a big bag that I can put books, pencilcases, and my small laptop to write Common Applications in summer.


Black Bag, 36,000 won
Seems very cheap and light to carry


Butterfly Bag, 76,000 won
From AccessorizeKorea
I think I have to tell my mom to buy it: can't afford it XD


Furthermore, as you know, summer is coming soon. It's already May, and I'm still trapped with those winter/spring clothes. I need new T-shirts and dresses. I don't like common T-shirts that are found in every online shopping malls. I like T-shirts with unique printings or illustrations because when I wear them, it seems I'm special.


Snowflake T-shirts, 15000 won
(Wow, snowflakes! I don't remember that I actually played a snowfight with my friends this winter)



Bird T-shirts, 15000 won
(Kind of reminds of "To Kill a Mocking Bird"  that we leard these days in English 11 class)


When girls think of summer, they also usually think of sandals and shoes. In summer, you don't have any mess such as melt down of snow and dirt. It is perfect time to show your beautiful feet to people in beautiful shoes. I'm tall (5.7 feet), so I cannot wear high heels, at least in Korea :) Because guys in Korea are kind of short, so I think by wearing them, I can offend them :) (Oh, how nice of me!!!!) I like sandals and flatshoes (shoes without heels).


Geadas, 19000 won
(Geadas are Japanese sandals, and my friends told me that I totally look like Japanese, I just want to buy and try them for this summer)


Well, there are more things in my wish list. But before buying them, I think I have to pass those tests first. Wish me luck! :)

Wednesday, 27 April 2011

I'm dying over here

                                          

Today, I would like to talk about my suffering and miserable junior life. SAT and AP tests are coming up, and I receive lots of stress. You cannnot sleep well, you cannot eat well, and you cannot study well, since you are spending lots of energy only in concentrating.


I take SAT on May 7th, and then, 3 days after, I take those AP exams. Moreover, I also have to do online courses... I mean, everybody knows that junior are simply SUFFERING. When I was an elementary school student, or even, a middle school student, I didn't even know how hard it would be to do a high school junior or senior student. I hope that everything will just end right away. No finals, no SAT, no AP exams...

Sometimes, I think that I'm just trying to escape from the reality, not facing the real situation and not fighting back. I know it's hard to do it: I mean, who LOVES to study?

Furthermore, I feel sorry for the teachers who have juniors in their classes. I mean, they all know that AP tests are coming and that students are just staying up late to study. Some teachers just don't care how exhausted students are, but some teachers just cannot say anything because they see how students tries hard to actually open their eyes and stay awake and "function" in class.



Sunday, 24 April 2011

Trip to Yang Pyong (・Ω・)ノ!!

Last Thursday, I went to the school field trip, to Yang Pyong. I thought that it would be kind of boring or dangerous, because on every school trip, I end up with lots of scars or some happenings. For example, when we went to Nam I Island in 2009 fall, I fell off from the bicycle and got a huge scar on my knee. ┌┤´д`├┐It hurted so much, so I really don't like going on school trips since then.

Anyway, this school trip was different. I was junior the day before, but on that day, on that only day, I just wanted to be a common teenage girl who enjoys traveling and spending time with her friends (´ ▽`).。o♪♪ .  We made the tofu, rice cakes, and picked strawberries.

Tofu "liquid" tasted like the milk that passed the expiration date. It tasted funny.(*'へ'*)


Ecllid Drinking the Funny-tasting Toufu Liquid
(Seems like drinking Soju to me)



Yeah! Journalism Class!
Stephanie, Jessie, Monica, Ecllid(right behind Monica), and Mr. Cornman :)


While many other students enjoyed their time with friends, to me, this trip meant something else. This was my last trip with Jessie. Jessie is a senior, and it is the last semester to her in this school; therefore, it's the last trip with her to me. Jessie is like an older sister who takes of me. Since I'm the only child in my family, I've always wanted to have an elder sister or brother. When I came to this school in 2009, Jessie took care of me in the dormitory: she listened to my complains, worries, and sometimes, gave life advice to me.


3 Beauties: (from the right) Monica, Jessie, and Steph


This trip also gave me the opportunity (?) to get some cool photos that will remain in my life like a precious memory when I grow up. I like taking pictures, but sometimes, if I hold a camera, I'm not gonna be photographed by others, so I just simply ask others to take pictures of me. I like to take pictures and to be taken pictures by others ゚+.(・∀・).+.


I think it's alright to be sometimes crazy :)



Didn't know that Mr. Stewart was so funny! (ノ≧∀≦)

Anyway, I really enjoyed this trip. It will be ended to my memory! Maybe, in the future, I can show my future husband or other friends and tell how I was in 2011, what I did in Yang Pyong, and how much I enjoyed that time!


Sunday, 17 April 2011

Do you agree that friends have become more important than family?

I don't quite agree that friends have become more important than family. I think that family was, is, and will be the most important thing to us. Family is the most loyal supporter of you, knows you better than anyone else, and have this "invisible" connection with each other.

Firstly, your family is your most loyal supporter. It is true that family provides you food, educaiton, shelter, and clothing, but it is also true that it supports you whenever you are in a difficult situation. Even though you had committed a crime, your family will be ready to do everything to help you: it can advise you what to do, forgive you, or help you to escape from that situation. Family supports you and truly helps you in a difficult situation.

Secondly, you lived with your family throughout your life; thus, you know your family, and family knows you well. Your parents, your sisters or brothers know what you like, what you hate, what you are afraid of, what your favorite song, place, or book is , or how many times you fell from your bed while sleeping. Sisters and brothers grew with you; therefore, they shared the same experiences: they understand you and appreciate you more than anybody else.

Lastly, there is an "invisible" connection between your family and you. We are all connected with the common family name, share same blood, and look similar to each other. We trust them, and they trust us. Family does not just provide us shelter, food, or clothing - we need someone we can come back to , our home, our family. We need our family, and the family needs us too. Therefore, there are more than friends; I think that family cannot be ever compared to friends.

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

Friendship

Friendship is very fragile, so one has to be always careful whether it breaks or not. Friends... People use the word "friend" to describe someone who is always with you, shares same feelings with you, and have common things with you. But, for me, friends are different. They are more than that definition.

A friends to me is someone who can cry with you together, walk under the rain together than giving you an umbrella, and hug you when you have sad eyes rather than asking what is wrong.


My friend Seo Jin (with a big ribbon @ her head)


When I came to this school, I was teased by other girls that I ask too many questions to teachers and pretend to be the "best" student. When I was sophomore, almost all girls in my age, just hated me: they just sweared at me and thought that I was not going to be hurt by it. I thought that my friends also would turn from me: because that's how "friends" in books, TV serials, movies, or in dramas do.

However, they were different: when I cried alone, they came to me and hugged me, and listened my cries. They were lights to me: they directed the "darkness" in my heart into a bright new world.


Monica and Yeji♥


What they have done to me was a risk, a challenge to other girls. I really appreciate it and sometimes feel sorry for them: they also have to be hated by other girls. Then, one of them said to me: "Don't say "sorry" so often. Say "thank you." That sounds better, Steph!" After I heard that I cried and cried.  Now, 2 of them left: one left abroad to study, and one is preparing for the university now. But, another friend, my "bestie" is here, in my school, with me.


Monica ♥

I don't know how I'm thankful to her. It's just hard to describe: both of us prepare to go abroad to study as the university students; both of us attend the same high school; both of us like same books; both of us share common hobbies - it's just... we have so common things; we share so much things, that for me, she became part of my family... :)

I don't know how I could have been in this school without her when I was in sophomore.

I don't like to think about complicated things.


The memories shared with you are the biggest parts in my life
The time spent with you was the longest time in my life
Things we shared together are the most valuable things, the treasures in my  life
The memories share with you cannot be compared to anything in this world
So thank you very much for being my friend.